I never expected a teacher to reject my child’s project over morality, but that’s exactly what happened.
My daughter is 10 years old and every year her school has an assignment where students research and present a historical figure they admire. She genuinely loves this project and spends weeks thinking about who she wants to learn about. The process is that students submit three choices, and the teacher selects one for them to do their report on.
This year, my daughter chose David Bowie, Princess Diana, and Hedy Lamarr.
Earlier today, I received a message from her teacher saying that David Bowie wasn’t an acceptable option because he “lived an immoral lifestyle,” Princess Diana was “too celebrity-focused,” and Hedy Lamarr “wasn’t influential enough to justify a presentation.”
For context, last year my daughter researched Rosa Parks, and the year before that she did Amelia Earhart.
I immediately started drafting a long response about how morality isn’t objective, how historical figures are complex people, and how the assignment never mentioned anything about choosing someone based on moral purity. I was honestly furious. But when my husband got home and saw how upset I was, he told me he thought I was taking it too personally and that this wasn’t worth escalating.
So now I’m questioning myself. Am I overreacting? Or is this something I should push back on?
Additional Info
- This is a private school, but it isn’t religious
- The teacher is new this year and started mid-semester
- We live in the Pacific Northwest
- This assignment is a long-standing school tradition across all grades, with age-appropriate expectations
Update
Wow. I didn’t expect so many responses, and I really appreciate the perspectives.
After sitting with it overnight, I decided to respond to the teacher calmly but firmly. Here’s what I sent:
“I understand your concerns, but the assignment is to research a historical figure of significance. Morality is subjective, and learning about influential people often includes understanding their complexities. My daughter put a lot of thought into her choices and is excited to share what she learns. I’d appreciate it if you could reconsider.”
I also emailed the school principal to express my concerns, particularly about the idea of a teacher labeling historical figures as “immoral” when that wasn’t part of the assignment criteria. I explained that I’m trying to raise my child to think critically, not judge people based on oversimplified labels, and that it was disappointing to see her enthusiasm dampened.
Later that day, I received a follow-up message from the teacher saying she had spoken with administration and that students would be allowed to choose freely from their original lists after all.
So that’s where it landed.
I’m relieved it worked out, especially since I don’t enjoy conflict. I also had a long conversation with my daughter about how adults—even teachers—can sometimes be wrong, and that it’s okay to respectfully question decisions that don’t feel fair. We talked about how people can have flaws and still contribute something meaningful to the world, and that learning history isn’t about sorting people into “good” or “bad.”
She’s still deciding which figure she wants to present on, but most importantly, she knows she didn’t do anything wrong.